I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize