State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize