She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
soo... how was my night?
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