im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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