Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
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i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
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come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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