I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
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