dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
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