I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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