Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a burrito and a hug.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize