Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize