my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
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do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
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Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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