Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Randomize