their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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