Life is so much better after having sex.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
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I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
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The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
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