I only kidnapped one of them. chill
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize