this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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