Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
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My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
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I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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