At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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