She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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