so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Drake has all the answers
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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