he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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