some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Please don't give away my fajitas
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