Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
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