Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
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