Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
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She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
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CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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