We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
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Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
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I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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