I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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