I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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