I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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