I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
this boner is exhausting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Randomize