I think im going to throw up on grandma
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
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Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
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Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
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