I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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