There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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