Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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