my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize