We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
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I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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