I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize