it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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