no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize