Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
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