My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
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At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
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Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Pooping to opera.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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