If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
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