Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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