I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize