I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize