What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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