I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I'm really busy with my period
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