i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
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