its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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