i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
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Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
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I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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