weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize