Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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