I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
50% drunk capacity currently
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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